It was one sad Sunday afternoon
Struggling like fish out of water
On the floor, he succumbed to fits
His teeth piercing his tongue
And blood oozing out from his mouth
I only could yell cry run
to fetch keys for closed fists
to place a cloth between his teeth
to arrest the blood flow
to rush to a hospital with him in an ambulance
My Only Brother,
five years younger to me
My little brother
I still remember holding him
when he was born
Cleaning him,
Carrying him
Feeding him with a bottle
Then I was his mother
Ordering him,
Yelling at him,
Fighting with him
Dominating him
Then I was his sister
Counselling him
Cooking for him
Consoling him
Helping him out
Then I was his friend
Now at 42
Day by Day in the hospital
Strange shocking things were revealed
Medicines he used of course
Doctor prescribed drugs
I only knew
he was diabetic and
was treated for TB meningitis
so was he cured
Being a medical representative
And medical transcriptor
He knew medicines very well
More Knowledge, More Availability
More Availability, More Usage
Misuse of his field of work
Devastated and destroyed him
Addiction
Alcohol, Steroids, Sleeping pills
All doctor prescribed medicines
And God knows what else
Sometimes Doctors the so-called
Saviors can be killers also
If they are negligent & carefree
Commercialization of medical field
Costing lives, health, and quality of life
Yet no laws to curtail it.
Like a fidgeting animal
He was tied to the hospital cot
He was yelling with resentment
Using abusive words at Nurses
And was pleading for Medicines
Doctors tried to portray him as Mental Patient
Depression, Schizophrenia, Paranoia, Insomnia
Mental Rehabilitation & Deaddiction center
became the last resort for Him.
He was always a rebel
Never we understood each other
I never understood his behavior
He never understood my hurt
Maybe bcoz we were both
Sensitive in opposite directions
With different Nature
After we lost our mother
He embraced Hate
Went out for Pleasure
Got hurt becoming
Revengeful and more Sensitive
I embraced love
Went out for People
Got more hurt
Yet Excused and Withstood
Maybe because
Being elder to him
Experience and
Of course Gender
Counted more
Pleadings to marry
Never touched his ears
He never heeded to warnings
Responsibilities were my sole concern
Responsibilities were things
To be dumped into the dustbin for him
City engulfed him with freedom
Risk taking behaviors
Improper diet and Addictions
Lakhs of People around him
In the Metropolitan city
But loneliness overwhelmed him
At the age of 40
Midlife Crisis attacked him
He was into spirituality
I thought everything would go well
Only for his rude behavior lacking social intelligence
And seclusiveness
B'coz he was Spiritual
Praying, Attending temples
Doing Poojas, Reading spiritual books
Connecting with Gurus, Meditating
Reiki, Kriya, What not !
Then Why? Why? and Why?
He couldn't control his emotions
Leave his inevitable addictions
Maintain proper diet
Why didn't Spirituality help him
I remain with a question
Before me and the World
His body could withstand
But his weak mind
And Sensitive Heart
Could not sustain & survive
At the Pinnacle of Insecurity
His heart stopped beating and
A lonely soul
Vanished into the air
Sunday to Sunday
Whatever might be the reasons
He was no more
Wasting his life and High Intelligence
Next moment my world changed
But the City was the same
I lost "something" but no one cared
In this forest of people
Death is so common
It was just another news for near and dear
But not as important as a price hike
From the depth of my heart
I cried I called I asked
Which I should have asked
Before had I known;
Why you had to make your life so?
Why you had to end your life so?
Why did you leave before me
You had no right to do that
I came first I had to leave first
Still his calling "Akka "
Reverberates in my ears
Twisting my heart
Wriggling me in pain
A human life was
Terminated in the invisible
Silent Social evil hands
Sunday to Sunday
Life of my innocent brother ended
Questioning me,
"Why couldn't you replace my mother? "
కామెంట్లు లేవు:
కామెంట్ను పోస్ట్ చేయండి